Craziest dream

So I took a nap today after finishing my song.
Big mistake.
I'm not going to add any pictures to this one. I want you to imgine it.
I dreamt that my brother in college was actually dead and my parents were trying to hide the fact from me. I would text who I thought was him, but it was really my parents with his phone sending the message. They would hire someone who sounded exactly like him to take phone calls, and they would always prevent me from coming with them when they went to visit him. But one day, they told me to come with them to visit my brother. They had gotten someone who looked exactly like him to talk to me. But I knew something was up when this imposter wasn't as crazy as my brother. Then I told my parents that I knew what was going on. Next thing I know, they were trying to eat me. Then I woke up.

TL;DR: Your brother isn't dead.

My new song!

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What the hell is this?

Right after making a post about my new tumblr, I just noticed this in place of where ads usually are.

Why do I need a calculator? Does this even make me money? 

So I just messed around with it

Ha, I spelled boob!

This seems really stupid. But, apparently Google replaced my ads with an app thing...

Why do I need an app to view sunsets?

I think the people at Google hired a new marketing department supervisor, and he ain't too bright.

Currently, my dislike for Google ads has turned into a hatred.

I want to make money. Google, you are making this difficult. I can't make money if people are spelling "boobies" on a calculator.

Please, Google. Less this

          and this








And more

It's not that hard to understand. 

What the internet is really made of

I was on Graph Jam when I saw this:

So I was thinking "Well, that's just not true." So I made my own, more correct graph.

Don't you think that's better?
Also, go to the Wikipedia home page to get a handy-dandy list of your congress men! Call them, write a disgruntled letter, or send them a frightening email, if you want to! Tell them to down-vote (heh, reddit) SOPA/PIPA and to make this world a better place! Also, check out The Oatmeal's protest!
For those of you who don't know, SOPA/PIPA would allow a company to shut down your website or any website with no real reason. They could say that you put something copyrighted up, and that they want it down. Think of all the stuff like that on YouTube! They would get shut down in seconds! Same with Face Book, which I know you all love dearly. DOWN WITH SOPA AND PIPA, WHICH WOULD RUIN THE INTERNET!


EDIT
I spelled 'Porn' wrong on the pie chart.

I made music!

So, I have too much time and a copy of FL Studio and I made this:

FISH:

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I'll post more songs as I make them.

The Hipster Menace

Many people despise hipsters. They are easily recognizable. Here is a diagram I've constructed by studying these strange beast in their natural habitats: Art schools, protests, and in Starbucks across the country:

We all want to stay away from this type of person. They will consume you with jabber about how mainstream the band "Dispatch" is and that they are now into the band "Mountain Goat Milk Squids".

The hipster female can vary from location to location, but one theme stays the same: knit clothing. They all have knit clothing, from their head to their feet.

I decided to go further into the field to research. I went to a thrift store (where most hipsters shop) and bought myself a fedora and chunky, thick frame glasses with no lens'. 

I approached the edge of a newly formed peaceful protest group outside of a mall. I am not very fluent in hipster, but I got that they were protesting greed and corruption of corporations. I approached the group, but I became to scared to get any closer. 

A wise man once told me that fear was actually an acronym. It stood for Face Everything And Recover. But, in the wise words of the great author Stephen King, I'm pretty sure it stands for "F*ck Everything And Run"

Many nights after that day were spent in a dark, shadowy corner of my house, trying to make myself believe that hipsters could not hurt me. 

I imagined myself as the protagonist in a zombie movie, except the zombies were hipsters. That helped a lot.

I am cured of my fear and now I live in peace without worrying that hipsters will attack me. 

Good night, and to all a good flossing.

Gingers and You!

Ginger accounts for about 2% of the population in the whole world!

But did you know that ginger is actually a...root? vegetable?....anyways, it's delicious and spicy! But it's not even close to orange.

Many people believe that ginger does not have a soul, while everybody else does!

Do you know why people cringe at ginger? I've researched and come up with this list:

As I studied further into this, I concocted a simple equation to use gingers to turn a profit! We've assumed that ginger have no soul, so that makes them evil.

So get out there and get some ginger!