We all want to stay away from this type of person. They will consume you with jabber about how mainstream the band "Dispatch" is and that they are now into the band "Mountain Goat Milk Squids".
The hipster female can vary from location to location, but one theme stays the same: knit clothing. They all have knit clothing, from their head to their feet.
I decided to go further into the field to research. I went to a thrift store (where most hipsters shop) and bought myself a fedora and chunky, thick frame glasses with no lens'.
I approached the edge of a newly formed peaceful protest group outside of a mall. I am not very fluent in hipster, but I got that they were protesting greed and corruption of corporations. I approached the group, but I became to scared to get any closer.
A wise man once told me that fear was actually an acronym. It stood for Face Everything And Recover. But, in the wise words of the great author Stephen King, I'm pretty sure it stands for "F*ck Everything And Run"
Many nights after that day were spent in a dark, shadowy corner of my house, trying to make myself believe that hipsters could not hurt me.
I imagined myself as the protagonist in a zombie movie, except the zombies were hipsters. That helped a lot.
I am cured of my fear and now I live in peace without worrying that hipsters will attack me.
Good night, and to all a good flossing.
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