Sunday, January 1, 2012

I almost died sledding


Sledding is my favorite past time. Screw baseball and apple pie, sledding is where 'Merica's really at. See any snow covered hills? I'll be if you do, there's kids on 'em. Why do I like sledding? The simple joy of goin' REAL fast down a hill. Then nearly killing yourself in trees.
I remember countless times I ran straight into a thorn bush, letting expletives flow through me like x-lax in an old person. I would recover quickly from most-just a bloody nose or a bruised knee- but others were much worse.
On one particular occasion, I remember hitting a fallen tree with my orange plastic sled and being catapulted into the air like a ragdoll.  
                                              
As I sailed through the air, I remember the feeling of knowing i'm going to die. This was very calming, for some reason, and I tried to will myself to panic. I imagined hundreds- no, thousands of on lookers watching in horror as a future president/astronaut/firefighter/policeman/army guy flew through the air to his death. I thought of all the things I never got to do.
By then, I started to fall back to the earth. I felt myself start cry, knowing these were my last few seconds alive. I thought to myself, Goodbye, awesome world.
Then I hit the ground.
 I thought that heaven was cold and tasted a lot like dirt. All of the sudden, I heard the distant voice of my friend saying, "Jake? Get up. You look stupid."
That day, I had come to closest to what I thought would be death. In 15 minutes, I was sledding again.
Good night, and to all a good flossing.


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